Aaahhhh me time, what exactly does this mean? A bath, a glass of wine, or a hot chocolate? Nope, for me when travelling like this it feels like all the time is me time, because I’m doing what I want, when I feel like it, and by myself. But sometimes I forget that, as I am by myself, I’m the only one looking out for me, myself , and I, right now, so keeping myself mentally, emotionally, and physically well is almost something I have to remind myself to do. Often its quite easy, the food here is cheap and healthy, and getting to sights and meals usually requires walking, thinking and problem solving so that’s the first and last taken care off.
What about staying emotionally healthy? Again meeting strangers, sharing a smile (there’s plenty to go round here), takes care of a great deal. Yet I often find myself as soon as I’m done doing what I NEED to do on the Wi-Fi available, I’m on social media, a lot more than I use to be, I think, I’m looking to see what everyone’s up to back home, wondering if they miss me, I miss them! Particularly when on the move, and consequently tired, in airports, in hostels, after a long day or bus trip. I am a great believer in becoming a person who can makes oneself happy without having to surround oneself with people who will do it for you (while they’re there). So what have I learnt, well I have learnt to use YouTube’s wealth of stand-up comedy (when I have Wi-Fi), I have started to work out what music makes me smile, I have started to journal all the sad shit so it is at least kinda out of my head, vented, I have learnt to focus on the positives, like a pretty sunset, a smile from a stranger on a bus, the fact that I’m even here!
I started writing this in Pathein, some time ago now I had a big day and the following day was bigger, but getting up at 3.30 am, I wrote all the negative shit in my journal and told myself, I am going to enjoy the bus and [sleepily] watch the country-side roll by, appreciate the shit road that enables me to even be here, and I will arrive in Ngapali beach sometime late tomorrow, tired, sweaty, gross, and running over budget, but smiling, and if I make it in time I will watch the sunset over the beach and think of how lucky I am.
Edit; missed the sunset but still felt great to be there!
Edit; this is a post I’ve taken awhile writing and have continued editing it and adding on thoughts.
I feel bad because I’m supposed to feel stoked to be here every minute right? But Myanmar is like no were I’ve travelled before and I don’t believe being a newbie was ever a reason to either, shy away from a challenge OR sometimes feel tired and broken but . I think everyone who has travelled alone or been in a situation in which you are physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted because they are the only one looking out for me, myself, and I, particularly in a foreign country, with little infrastructure, feels this way at some point. I guess my point is I’m human, and sometimes I’m a tired human, it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that I’m here, it just serves as a reminder to take of myself, appreciate the journey’s as much as the destination, tell my perfectionism to go f**k itself, and use whatever places I don’t get to, as an excuse to come back later. This blog is not just about the travelling and the destination, it is also about the highs AND the lows, and ultimately, although I have trouble with this, it is also about me, after all it is chefany’s chronicles. Recently I’ve been all about the highs, but I realize that’s hardly the most honest version of these chronicles, because shit happens, and I don’t believe there’s a soul in the world who doesn’t feel like crap at times, regardless of their situation. It’s all about how you pick yourself back up (onto your crumby hostel bed for a nap), figure out what happened, (after your nap + 3 awful premix sachet coffees) accept that it happened (after you’ve vented to yourself, the random chick in your dorm room, or your journal), and carry on……
Another edit (20/02/17)!…
I am now in Bagan and I’m actually a little shell shocked to be back in the realm of touristy crap, I mean yes the last week had some highs and some lows, and having good Wi Fi and a warm shower feels like luxury, but I miss the old world charm, and I find myself more than a little horrified to be back around tacky souvenir shops, people selling, pushing, and hassling you, and hordes of grey-haired tour groups, ugh. Nevertheless, feeling better, it’s time for more curry me thinks….
My thoughts go out to all those affected by the bush fires in in both Canterbury New Zealand and NSW L hugs…..